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September 12, 2002, 5:45 p.m.

In the definitive-proof-that-we-feminist-cultural-studies-types-are-not-making-this-shit-up-about-masculinist-nationalisms-on-display category:

The East Bay Express covered these bad boys in an article hitting the high notes of 9/11 commercialism -- genuine, all-American brass balls. (Modeled, as the Express notes, to hang "realistically.") Owning a pair means that you've got "what it takes to defeat terrorism, defend our homeland, show courage and determination in the face of adversity, and to have the moral fiber to do what's right."

You can choose to wear your balls on your sleeve (since the heart is apparently AWOL) -- or on your keychain or jacket lapel, around your neck, or dangling from your ears. You can sip your morning coffee with the knowledge that your  balls are on twenty-four hour alert, or cruise the highways of this great country with your pendulous scrotum hanging from the back bumper.  You can even purchase some balls in sterling silver, all the better to display your (ahem) "moral fiber." At the website you can even read testimonials (the pun "testes-monials" is sadly neglected) to the turgid swell of national pride these balls inspire.

Sarcasm is wasted in the shadow of these scrotum.

 

September 12, 2002, 9:01 a.m.

reading: Laura Hyun Yi Kang, Compositional Subjects: Enfiguring Asian/American Women, Rosemarie Garland Thomson, editor, Freakery: Cultural Spectacles of the Extraordinary Body
listening: Girl Group Greats CD, The Epoxies LP

One of the most provocative current features on Salon.com is about "forbidden feelings" about 9/11 -- the feelings that rupture a dominant discourse of an "America"united in grief or vengeance, or indeed, that "the world is forever changed." In their classification as "forbidden," we are forced (once again) to acknowledge that the national imaginary generates a structure of emotional response that interpellates "good" and "bad" citizens and assimilates ideology into the intimate logic of feelings. We learn that what qualifies as appropriate citizenship is not the initiative to act as a critical participant in the democratic process, but is instead located in the articulation of certain patriotic feelings as the proper expression of national collectivity.

The recent controversy over the color of memorial ribbons to be distributed on the Berkely campus is a frightening instance of the policing of "right" feelings; student leaders' choice of a white ribbon, which they argued could be understood as a both a collective (but not nationalist) gesture and a personal expression of mourning, peace, or hope, became a target of national derision as "un-American." The chancellor bowed to conservative pressures and overrided the students' decision, promising that red, white, and blue ribbons would be made available to those patriots who loved "America."  However, he did not see the need to address the death threats and racial slurs sent to members of the student body or the campus newspaper as a result of the controversy; perhaps these are "acceptable" expressions of patriotism and remembrance, or merely incidental (rather than constitutive, or emerging in a dangerous liaison), whereas the elasticity of meanings and emotions attached to a white ribbon --including the hope for peace-- is not--?

(For the record, I wore my "We Are All Billie Jean" pink tee shirt and my black socks with the glow-in-the-dark skulls as my private, sartorial protest against the US mobilization for war.)

These other forbidden feelings, then, are small fissures in the normative discourses of sentimental citizenship --populated, for instance, most tragically by grieving widows or abandoned children-- and can reveal the political instrumentality of "right feelings" and their other contradictions in multiple ways.

This one, for instance: "My father was one of those people who was supposed to be in the city that day but didn't go in that morning due to a freak coincidence. I hate him. I wish he'd died in the attacks, because then memorializing him would have been easy. I wouldn't have ever had to hate him again because he would have been one of the people lost in 9/11. As we waited to get in touch with him, I prayed we'd never find him. No one knows this."

Or this one: "I'll admit my first thought was, 'Thank God, I won't have to hear [name withheld] bitch about her marriage anymore.' Her husband worked in the WTC and they were on the road to a messy divorce. Of course, then I spoke to my friend, who was now the proud widow of a martyr -- and has since claimed full benefits. The hypocrisy of her attitude, especially as she spoke about him in the reverent tone normally reserved for saints when he was once known as TB (short for 'The Bastard'), nearly made me physically ill."

I, of course, had "inappropriate" feelings all over the place, and I still believe "Bin Laden and the Boxcutters" would be a brilliant name for a punk band.