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June 28, 2001, 11:15 p.m.

Five hours at the library with Paperson yielded a (hopefully) more polished draft of my "drag racing in digital space" paper, new theoretical tangles for my globalization and fair trade paper (courtesy of the ever-effervescent Gayatri Spivak), and a random find in an 1995 issue of the journal Transition called "Fresh Maimed Babies: The Uses of Innocence" by McKenzie Wark. Brilliant.

10:22 a.m.

"Disorganized capital may open up some new avenues for self-expression, but what is it in relation to? Avatars may fuck each other in new and interesting orifices, but what is it in relation to?" -- Lauren Berlant at the SMT conference, thus winning my eternal admiration

9:01 a.m.

By the vegetarian lentil and pasta salads V and I hovered uncomfortably with our paper plates, having arrived earlier than the other conference participants, unable to endure the discordant euphoria of the closing panel aftermath. 

We had given up composing diplomatic probes and critiques after watching L's many attempts --more artfully rendered than ours-- fall on deaf or uncomprehending ears. The almost total inattention to valences of race, class, or geopolitics at a technologies conference was literally stunning. (I felt nauseous.) Feeling depressed that queer studies were still being produced with such myopia, I poked wearily at the hummus.

Another conference participant wandered into the office lobby and approached with a friendly smile. "So, how did you like the conference?"

We mumbled something non-committal with subterranean meaning. "Oh, it was very educational."

It was true we had taken notes, tallying crimes and moments of horror. ("How can he uncritically cite a 19th-century missionary to base his understanding of 'premodern' fetishism, and then extrapolate from that to discuss the alienation of First World gay white men with web cams?!?" et cetera.) 

She laughed and said over the fruit platter, "When I heard you were from ethnic studies, I thought to myself, 'Uh oh, we won't be talking about that today!'" She grinned, as if to say, Of course, we all know race has no meaning or relevance in sexuality studies!

To remain as civil as possible I simply walked away from the table, as if she hadn't said a word. In shock, V could only think to say, "Well, we do women's studies too."

The other woman chirped cheerfully and without a trace of irony, "Oh, that's great! I'm glad you got something out of the conference then!"

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There is much more to be said, but this brief encounter pretty much summed up the conference for me.